Celebrating Ayrie

Nora has said the 16th of February should be used to celebrate Ayrie’s life, which is exactly what Richard and I will do today.

Since he’s passed we continue, like so many that loved him, to have tearful nights, car rides and tearful runs.  Before the cold weather hit D.C. we did one, final 5k for the season.  I choked across the finish line, as I remembered the joyful way Ayrie would run.  He almost sauntered when he ran, it was as if he was so proud of his stride, proud of the distance he could go.

Nora’s sister has asked that we remember a particular memory or recent dream we’ve had of Ayrie. I’ll share one memory about one of the first times we baby-sat the boys.

Ayrie went through a period of jumping on the bed…although do kids every grow out of that?! The first couple times we watched the boys he would run straight for Nora’s bedroom and jump on her bed.  Richard and I would take turns playfully lifting him up in the air and “dropping” him onto the bed.  His infectious laughter would follow.  My arms would tire before Richard’s, so Richard would keep going with the game.

This one night, in particular, Ayrie was wearing sweat pants that were too big for him.  He would literally jump out of them with each bounce.  Being that it was one of the first times we were watching him, we didn’t want to look like slacking sitters letting Ayrie run around in just his underwear.  Ayrie thought it was a game when Richard would try to get the pants back on.  Sometimes he would stop and appease Richard only to immediately bounce right out of them.  I think Ayrie was trying to tell us, “hey, we’re friends now, we can hang-out in our underwear!”

So if you too want to remember Ayrie today, my silly advice is to act like kid!

• Hang out in your underwear (when appropriate
• jump on a bed, go for a run and run with ease, with carelessness
• hug people around the neck (oh how I miss his hugs)
• let someone new into your life
• get messy (cook a crazy meal, paint, finger paint)
• let your siblings know you love them
• eat yogurt (I always remember Ayrie and Shiya eating lots of yogurt for whatever reason)
• watch a Britney Spears video on YouTube (such great musical taste!)

27 Member Family

One of my favorite stories from this past weekend came from Ayrie’s gammy, Diane.  The Quaker memorial service had just ended (what a beautiful rememberance of Ayrie!), and Richard and I sat in our chairs crying.  Diane came up and rested her hands on my back and embraced me.

She told Richard and I about a time at pre-school where the students were asked to draw their family.  Most children drew 3 or 4, some typical number that you would expect.  Ayrie, on the other hand, had 27 people in his family.

I think that sums up how loving and caring he was, and just how much Ayrie, at the age of four, valued his relationships with his friends and family.

I’ll always treasure this story.  Thank you Diane!

Three Questions

Nora shared this at Ayrie’s memorial service from the book, The Three Questions.

“Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is
now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the
most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing at your
side. For these, my dear boy, are the answers to what is most important
in this world.”

What Can I Do?

More than 600 people visited our blog yesterday, and we are assuming most of you are looking for ways you can help Nora and her family at this time.  Below is an exerpt from an email Nora sent out.  Please consider sending her a card, donating online or anything else you feel in your heart that may help at this time.

I have had many people asking me what they can do to help so I have thought of ten ways.  I am sure there are more so please don’t feel limited, this is a starting place. 

• Write February 16th, Ayrie’s birthday on your calendar and call us every year.  Stay connected.  Be in our lives.  Help us remember him with joy.
• Make a donation to our family through my sister’s paypal link on Ayrie and Shiya’s website, MurphyBoys.org. 
• Send us frequent flier miles or plane tickets so we can come visit you.
• Send cards or emails to me & Shiya at random times throughout the year.  We will still be grieving and needing your love and support in a week, in a month, in a year…
• Send ideas about how to honor and remember Ayrie through our thoughts, words and actions.
• Bring or send food so we don’t eat cheese sticks and apple sauce for dinner every night.
• Invited us to a place in nature or in the world that we’ve never seen before.
• Send photos and memories by mail or email that we can put in Ayrie’s memory book.
• Host a scrap booking party to help me build Ayrie’s memory book  (never done this before!)
• Help us cherish the old memories while building new ones.

With much love,

Nora
3015 10th Ave S, Apt 1, Minneapolis, MN  55407

Another Memory of Ayrie

I remember that Ayrie used to love to play a version of hide and seek that I called hide and scare. Ayrie, for whatever reason, loved to be scared (an emotion Robert and I run from!). He would tell me to hide and he would count to ten. As soon as he reach ten I would hear his feet scamper down the hall to find me, and his little voice saying “Chriiiiiiiista, Chriiiiiiiiista…..­” He would tentatively look behind doors and under beds to see if I was there, ready to pounce out and scare him. Eventually he would approach the closet door, and I would pop out and scare him with a “boo!” He would startle back, and then laugh uncontrollably gasping to tell me “again, again, again!”

Pictures of Ayrie

Donating to Nora

If you’d like to help Nora and her family at this time, please follow this link. This money will allow Nora to take the time off she needs, in order to spend time with Shiya.  It will also assist with bill payment.

Please donate to their memorial fund.

Remembering Ayrie

It is with a sad heart that Richard and I must tell you that Ayrie passed away this morning.  It has been a difficult and devastating morning to say the least.

Please post your words of encouragement for Nora here, as she goes through this impossible time.  Your thoughts and prayers mean the world to her.

Thank you!

Crossing the Finish Line

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Race day!

After months of training and a HUGE outpouring of support, today was race day. Christa’s younger brother Brent (see muscles below) ran in her place and we had a great time! The weather was perfect (low- to mid-60s, cloudless sky) and our fans cheered us to a sub-2:00 half-marathon.

Thank you to everyone that donated to Nora and Ayrie’s travel fund! While we didn’t reach our goal of $8,000, I doubt the support will stop here. So many people I know have been moved by their story and they certainly have inspired Christa and me. I don’t think we’ll do another half-marathon (stress fractures are no fun), but check back for more pictures (and hopefully more fundraising updates) from 5k races throughout the DC area, Chicago, and/or St. Louis!